I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
