so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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