I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
