Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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