there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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