I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
