Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
