I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
