I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
