More tranny stories later!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
