well you can't waste a boner
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
