My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
