...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
