If that was your dad, he is hot
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
