before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
