when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
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the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
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She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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