Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize