u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
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Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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