Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
