do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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