Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
