Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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