Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
