I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
