omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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