I accidentally had phone sex last night
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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