i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
