they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
