Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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