my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Help. Why am I so naked?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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