Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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