I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
two words: eviction party
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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