i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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