I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
