Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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