So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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