just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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