NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
