Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
now i know why i became what i already was.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
