My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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