Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
