Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
