We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize