I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
