Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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