Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
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The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize