you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
