we have officially lost it.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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