don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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