I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
