I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
operation have a gay friend backfired
smell my finger.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
