Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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