I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Drunk is a universal language darling
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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