All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize