i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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