You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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